Optimism is Making a Comeback

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I'm not entirely sure it's a comeback now that I think about it. I've been a 'Downer Debbie' for as long as I have been able to form my own thoughts. My teenage years are particularly reminiscent of whinging, whining and a whole lot of "Why does this only happen to me?"

 A decade on from the cringe worthy version of myself and I'm happy to report that much has changed.2011 was the straw that broke the camel's back. A job that over stressed. under paid and provided little personal satisfaction was the deciding factor to what pushed me well and truly over the edge. I was constantly tired and cranky, utterly jealous of some of my friends who were encountering seamless paths to the top of their careers. When would it ever get to my turn?

So I did the unthinkable. I quit my seemingly stable job in the wake of a global financial crisis. Europe's economy was being chained as mine was set free.I tried not to focus too much on the distant future (that was definitely a meltdown waiting to happen) and decided to think about the here and now, the often taken for granted present.

The present is a funny thing. I've lived most of my 27 years being absent so to speak. I would go through the motions of the present but quite frankly my mind would always be stuck in the future or the regrettable past. Every decision I made, had been carefully weighed for its benefit for the future with hardly any consideration to the present instead.

It's a wonder I even managed to make it to 27 without a nervous break down, or then again, maybe this is exactly that.Right before I quit my job, I signed up for a working holiday visa in New Zealand. Don't ask why New Zealand. It just seemed fuss free and readily available. If only Siberia had been on the list, I'm sure I would have clicked on it anyway out of sheer desperation. Needless to say, I got the New Zealand visa and that was that. I would pack up and move for 6 months.

I exchanged every penny to my name for some New Zealand dollars and bought a one way ticket to Auckland (in the spirit of living for now, a return ticket bore the dilemma of planning too far into the future - the sheer opposite of the point of this sabbatical).

Since I've arrived here, I sense a major shift in my once long winded and complicated thought process. Quitting my job on impulse like that has conditioned me to take risks, sprinkle on some positivity, say a silent prayer and hope for the best.

By hook or crook, things have been working out well for me here. I've managed to settle in well, find a good job before my first month in Auckland was up, tick some ridiculous things off my bucket list and all with a few dollars still left in the bank.

The only thing I'm doing different is surrendering to the universe, flowing with it instead of resisting and fighting what I clearly have no control of. Once you really wrap your head around the fact that bad things will happen and will pass, nothing could keep that smile off my face.

I go to bed with happy and positive thoughts and awake to amaze myself more with each passing day.I'm fully aware that the lucky streak will eventually have to end but same goes for unlucky ones. There is now less to fear.I am happy to report that not only is the glass half full, but it now also runneth over.